One year. It was one of the baby steps... I have love for you that last over a lifetime. x
--Merci tout le monde--
2:35 AM
kubis masam. Thursday, December 17, 2009
I'd like some part of my muddle of thoughts to shut down and die. That's how much I rather not bother anymore. But at least 99.9 percent of what's happening in my mind is healthy =) what I mean is, apart from that petty 0.1 percent which has gone to the point of agitating annoying little thought.. I have plenty to smile about. Except that little portion, die away from me.
--Merci tout le monde--
3:01 AM
like an itty bitty child. Friday, December 11, 2009
I've been having dreams... not the kind that speaks my desire. It's not the kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night either. It's the kind that surprises you actually wake up at all when it's over. I keep having that lately... I can't say I wanna think of it so I'll go with not thinking of it at all as what Marul advices me not to think of things that don't worth thinking. So I hope my ignorance is enough to settle my nerves. But what replenishes me back as I go through my day is having to have that special someone to go to or be there for you. A spark of amusement can go far with forgetting little things that frighten you... I laughed till I cried today... my muscles felt sore.. and I don't believe it's due to touch rugby. I feel most amused when I'm with you. Miss me while I'm gone on the road trip ;) I love you.
--Merci tout le monde--
4:01 AM
bonne nuit. Thursday, December 10, 2009
You know at times hip hop music could give me a serious migraine.. but I love Lil Wayne and is among my official lullaby playlist starting tonight. Little do one take note of music that express words in their own interesting way... it's not just about the fame, the blingzzz, the grillzzzz...
& that ends a mere bit of my thought of the night.
--Merci tout le monde--
3:50 AM
cause u're my only reader. Wednesday, December 9, 2009
What scientific person could clarify the idea of a person's thoughts being rapidly active when times one should spend the given time to.. lets say, sleep! yes that is an extension of the idea trying to point out Insomniac.. but tonight it isn't entirely to be blame on that issue. Tonight, I'm nervous. I'm a little shaky, I'm a little overthinking, I'm a little over my head infatuation with my almost one-year together boyfriend. Shaky rough times came and went made me realize such a risky business we put ourselves together into. And there is no exact explanation to define us still being together considering any skeptism ideas that may exist in between us. Thing is, none of that mattered. Regardless anything, he's my one bestest bestest in everything. He knows me more than anyone that knew me all my life. He has been exposed to every side of me, not just merely like a toddler school mate growing up... but, he's been in through it all and he does not see me through his judgement over what surrounds me. He actually sees anything relative to me that makes up who and how I am. Underneath it all, I'm just merely saying how much I love him. I love you. And no matter what the future holds. I just love you. I wanna put it that way in everyway possible. yeah... =)
--Merci tout le monde--
5:24 AM
1234, tell me that you love me more. Friday, November 27, 2009
I've absolutely made a closure with my ex...amination! I'm done, done, done and may I say that one more time, doneee with my semester. No more sleepless nights, no more overly caffeinated consumption of drinks, no more having mind cramps or the severe pressure that gets the best of me, no more psychotically talking to myself receiting my notes, no more all those unhealthy studying battles for the rest of the year! YES! So what do I do with my free time? There is no free time :) My house is having my brother's wedding pretty soon. I need to catch up with more beach time. Get fitness back in track. Marul, you're the bestest friend ever. You drive me up the wall insane with your big headed ideas but, yeah... x And after all upcoming fiasco are finally done... I'm hoping subtle things come my way.. And maybe I'll get a proper vacation soon. For now, I'm watching dvds.
Bonne Nuit!
--Merci tout le monde--
12:41 AM
And I Thursday, November 19, 2009
will not be defeated by examinations!
--Merci tout le monde--
3:27 PM
the blues. Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Despite knowing my assignment unhealthy affair is now done with. I still feel like to cry. It hurts to try too much knowing in just few days, it's exams already. I just got done with one sickening tiring thing and I don't even get to just cheer up myself and it's already something else. I keep the music to my ears, didn't wanna hear anything. But I resort to Abg Pie's melody. It's forever soothing to my ears. I gotta get all this exhaustion energy out.. even by admitting myself I'm vulnerable. Cause I'm almost there and I gotta get myself together.
I keep having faith.
--Merci tout le monde--
2:13 AM
I miss... the Singapore lights. Tuesday, November 17, 2009
It certainly is an unusual sight for some that I finally get to hang around the office area of the school just because it's the last day of assignment. I have mixed feelings of how I've done my very last of the last assignment in my course but it's all done and over with. It's couple weeks of exam fiasco now and I'm so glad I have a beau to hover every stress, fuss, exhaustion and live the tough real life with. I'm so happy I found you, babe. Happy 11th monthsary. 1 step closer to an epic revolution of our commitment scheme! =DD
Bonne Nuit!
--Merci tout le monde--
2:31 AM
agh Thursday, November 12, 2009
my last semester is the hardest yet.
- Why? For a lot of reasons. Not to list all, cause I'm in vital need of time. I will just justify with mentioning about my assignment. It's not like I loveeee to do it last minutely. No, I am not following the trend of being a IT student who just gotta do it on spot few days before deadline. No, I am not too busy with other things. I have been trying and trying to cope with doing this bloody assignment eversince the first chapter I studied the subject. Of course, I can catch up with the topics. But when it comes to the assignment does it have any relevance at all? Yes, but does it involve all those topics and topics I've studied eversince the semester started? NO. So, now when I finally managed to comprehend how to do this bloody program but thing is, I have so little time left! - It's my last semester, MY LAST SEMESTER. I gave up god knows how many things for me to get this far, and somehow.. it's trying to get the best of me. Should I turn to anyone to vent all these compressed tired emotions? No. I shouldn't. It's because I wouldn't. If not, you'd see me somewhere in a coffee shop with my bestest friends now. As much as I'd love to, but I didn't. I'm carrying my own bags of luggage to graduate. Agh. - Did I ever give up? I almost for so many times. It's suppose to be easy, right? If I study and understand all the logics? OF COURSE. Should I blame the school teaching system? NO. Is blaming neccessary? NO. - Geez. It's at these kind of times really make me think of all those dreams that I still hang on to, if it not for them. I'd rather screw all this shiz up and just sleep it all off. -
If growing up is to go through hardship on a daily basis, I should've stop obsessing about rainbows and butterflies ages ago.
